Oceano
by Anna Tramell
Summary: The ocean was closing over them - cascading, crashing, needing. The ocean consumed them... for what human could stop the ocean, anyway?
1. Oceano

**Title:** Oceano

_**Time Set:**_ _After the series, before the movie, and probably after the events that occur in the current comics (Those Left Behind_ & _Better Days_)

**Warnings:** _Sexual situations, and some naughty Chinese, nothing you haven't heard before_

**A/N:** _I'm profoundly moved by Josh Groban and his melodious voice. I was inspired by the mere title of the song "Oceano", though I'm not even sure if that's really the Italian word for "ocean" or not. I was further inspired to put lyrics to "Now Or Never" – the more you listen to the tone, the more it makes sense, really. There's also some symbolism that has various meanings… and some using various terms I'd just learned in my class on the anatomy and physiology. As for an explanation on this pairing, I have none – but I have no regrets…_

_-o-o-o-0-0-O-O-_

"…_**It's been hiding there inside for all this time**_

_**How a sure thing winds up just like this**_

_**Clockwork silence only knows…"**_

_-O-O-0-0-o-o-o-_

"River – _don't_!"

The girl's head shot up, her hair cascading one long ripple at the movement and falling back down her front, her thin legs were tucked neatly under her summer blue dress. In the lap of this blue dress, her thighs were supporting the weight of Jayne's precious Vera. Jayne imagined seeing those gray eyes hardening, those arms supporting Vera onto those frail-looking shoulders, and, _bang! – _Jayne Cobb. Shot dead by a 90 pound girl.

"Give that _back _to… me… _now… _before – AHA!" He hoisted Vera over his shoulder, and then behind his broad back, looking quite triumphant at his victory.

"Can you teach me how to shoot like her?" She asked in, as always, soft-spoken tones.

The rugged man let out a nervous laugh, as he noticed his array of armory were all just behind the girl and heard the absurd question. "Ya already know how ta shoot. Kaylee told us about ya takin' out three guys with your eyes closed an' all."

She blinked owlishly.

Jayne eyed her warily – never did like her starin'. And he had the scar to prove that she was liable to get the idea of being violent. Suddenly, and without warning.

"Shoot _like _her," River repeated.

"I ain't got a clue what you mean," Jayne sighed.

River smiled. Jayne wasn't even sure if he liked that or not. He didn't exactly feel reassured by it, anyways. He figured it didn't really matter much, because not soon after, she got up, and simply left, climbing the ladder with such procession, her hair undulating like an ocean behind her.

-o-0-O-0-o-

Simon didn't understand her when she talked about the ocean.

The oceans cascading, cresting, rolling into curves, above curves, around curves, under curves, inside curves. Deep breaths, shudder, warmth, _wet._

The oceans were closing around her. She was no longer a mere river. No, an ocean- Longing, intiminating, and _needing_. She wanted things she never thought made sense and imagined how they would fare in her minds, like an old record, always playing, replaying, over and over, again and again. The waves – she wanted to move with them, the waves consuming her.

Simon didn't understand. Simon ignored the ocean.

-o-0-O-0-o-

Jayne thought he had been dreaming – and a weird-ass dream it was to find River straddling his hips in the middle of the night, and peering at him… waiting.

"What do you want?" He muttered.

She seemed at a loss of words. She opened her mouth, but nothing issued forward. She sat up, took one of his hands and quite suddenly pressed it against her chest firmly. Her heart thudded against his palm, warm, throbbing, rapid.

"Gorramit, what are you _doing_?" He growled, yanking his hand away from her person, and dimly aware that in the back of his mind, he was sure that there had been nothing more than thin blue cloth between his hand, and her right breast.

She wet her lips, leaned toward him – and he was forced to ignore the heat planted between his legs and override the head that didn't care what ball of crazy was concentrating all of his blood into action with the head that tried to reason. Hell, he thought he was pretty good at being reasonable.

Before he kissed him, anyhow.

And it was the oddest kiss he had ever experienced, he could speak truthfully. He was fighting to remember her age, her relationships, her gorram mental state. And he was losing.

He could only feel her desperation in those open mouth kisses, her heaving breasts, fluid leaking beneath her. His fingers sought that fluid, knew he found her when she gasped. Shock. She _had _to be old enough to know what she was doing. Hell, he was younger than her when he had had his first fuck.

But if Simon had found out… if Mal found out… Hell, any of the crew, if they knew.

Her soft eyes found him, read his hesitation. She grinned – feral, mischievous – and lifted away her dress, uncovering her smooth stomach, her swollen (and matured, in appearance) breasts and dumped it to the side. She was a gorram goddess under the soft glow of the seeing light – some kind of angel that the Shepherd talked about in that book. He would have confessed anything to her right then if she asked, but she had begun fiddling with the button of his jeans, the kind he wore to bed if he ever found himself in some kind of emergency, and reason, let alone _thinking_, was drowned under the ocean.

-o-0-O-0-o-

She was quiet beside him afterwards. He thought he might have hurt her, probably made her even more crazy than before somehow. And she'd tell Simon, who'd tell Mal, who'd throw him off in the middle of dead space (or onto Reaver territory). And he'd lose his job, his boarding and his life. And his mother –

River began to giggle, turned over, laughed in his face. "Gonna worry my mother, you know, if I'd disappeared an' all," he growled, and she laughed all the more.

"Jayne, I can feel the _ocean_," she whispered. And it hit him. Smacked him right on the nose, metaphorically, what she meant by the ocean, which was quite literally, _him_ she was talking about feeling. Sex. Hell, he heard her speaking in those riddles of her – talking about needing to be with the ocean. He rolled to his back, let out a laugh that echoed off his walls – the very hilarity of Simon's confused expression.

She scooted against him, placed her hand against the mark of fibrous her knife wound had left and kissed his cheek, or rather the hair follicles that had emerged from the epidermis around the buccal area.

"Yes, Jayne," she whispered like a private joke. "_The ocean_."

-o-o-o-0-0-O-O-

"…_**We're trying far too hard.**_

_**The tattered thought balloons above our head…"**_

-O-O-0-0-o-o-o-

He held her in his arms at night, long when Simon was asleep. He didn't really know why he did, but it was much more interesting than being alone. She pointed things out to him, whispered what findings she found. "The luminance is clearest at night."

"The luminance," Jayne repeated, "is clearest at night."

"I can't see the luminance where there isn't darkness."

"I can't see the luminance where there isn't darkness."

"I can't see you."

"I'm right here."

"I can't see you _when I see you_."

"You can't see me when you… oh… you… can't see me when other people see me."

"No, not then either."

_Another night…_

"Vera's hidden. She's hidden amoung the rest. Does she know she's important? No one can see her. I can't even see her."

"No one has to see her but me."

"Does she know?"

"Vera knows."

_Another night…_

"-right in front of you and you can't see it. Can't see it unless they tell you – that's your hand."

"Your hair."

"Your leg."

"Your wrist."

"Your lips."

"My lips."

_Another night…_

She wasn't even there.

He looked for her. And she was sleeping there in her bed. So he didn't disturb it.

_Another night._

_Another night._

She found his room again.

"The ocean closes over me and I can't breathe." That was her apology. He kissed her forehead, furrowed in thought. That was his acceptance. She climbed on top of him.

This was their ocean.

Before the stars, the deities, and the illuminaries, they found the ocean, so often dormant. It crawled inside their nerves, and dripped back to the ground from thousands of pores.

And the ocean wasn't confined to gravity nor planets nor civilizations. The ocean stretched far beyound the galaxy. The ocean found beings, gathered beings, made beings – _complete captivation._

"You're inside my ocean," Rive once said. It was the hottest thing Jayne had ever heard.

"Don't see the island. It's not there. Don't find the island, Stay in the ocean," River also once said. It meant a hell of a lot more than any woman's desperate _I love you_.

-o-o-o-0-0-O-O-

"…_**A splinter in the light.**_

_**It caught and frayed the heart of us…"**_

-O-O-0-0-o-o-o-

River made him think. Jayne wasn't sure if he liked that or not, but more often in the night she stimulated the mental part of his mind, rather than the physical reactions of touch.

"The ocean," she spoke once in the middle of dinner, "doesn't always move in smooth, gentle rolls. Sometimes the ocean is stormy. Sometimes the animals are breaching. Can't tell what's happening below the surface." She stopped all previous conversations, Kaylee's laughter, Zoë's stories, Mal's commentary, Simon and Book's amusement.

She said it, and she waited for a response. She had done this so often, that Jayne wondered why it hadn't been so obvious before. It was a question. She wanted an answer.

"Nothing different under the surface, than any ocean. Salt water, and critters underneath."

He never knew if his answer was right. But if she smiled – even in the slightest – he figured it was a good enough attempt. River had also seemed amused when Book had clapped a hand on his shoulder, and called him an "aspiring philosopher". And the table collectively snorted milk from their noses.

-o-0-O-0-o-

The ocean was a sort of euphemism for many things.

"They talk to me. I hear a thousand voices – I can't block them out. Do you want to know what they say, Jayne? I hear so many – you can't hide in the ocean. It's too hard. I hear everything, even if I never wanted to.

"Simon doesn't like the ocean. He can't handle the entirety. He misses the river – he wants only the river. Do you know what your voice says?"

"That I love the ocean?"

"And you don't know the river."

"Guess I never did."

"Your mother used to love the ocean."

Jayne turned onto his side to face her head-on. "Yeah? And what about my father?"

"He's never spoken."

"He doesn't have a voice?" _Did that mean he was a mute?_

"He has one. He doesn't use it."

Another subject. "What about Kaylee?"

"She sings," River said, with a smile. "She loves to sing. And Shepherd hums –he always hums."

_Kaylee seemed the type to sing. Maybe Shepherd accompanied her? That presented something pretty hy-larious in his mind._ "What about Zoë?"

"I love her voice. It's the clearest."

"What does she _say_?"

"She doesn't speak, Jayne. She just _is_."

"And Wash?"

"Never stops."

"…what about Inara?"

"I can't hear her. She's lost. She and Mal are both lost. And they're so close that they can't see each other. I can't hear the difference. Do you know my voice and what it says?"

Jayne reflected on the thought for a moment, but it didn't take too long. It was too lucid, really.

"Everything."

"Yes."

"Your voice would be the quietest."

She laughed.

"Because you're always listening."

She laughed more.

He tucked back a long strand, that tried to find its way into her mouth. "You _are_ the ocean."

"I can't be the ocean," she laughed.

"Well, I'd like to think of you as _my_ ocean."

"You can't own the ocean," she protested. "But you _can_ leave it."

"Then I won't leave."

"Can't hide if you don't leave."

"Then I won't hide."

He probably would have promised her the world. Could've promised anything – he didn't have much in the first place. He found her lips with his, moved him closer until she was all he felt. She had begun to smell like sex. He drank in her scent. She found his, ripped animalistic groans buried into vibrations. Giving, giving, and without warning, he lost to the waves.

-o-0-O-0-o-

"_What did my voice say to you before?"_

"_I'm lost in nothing – Come find me."_

-o-o-o-0-0-O-O-

"…_**Now or Never**_

_**You know there's so much more…" **_

-O-O-0-0-o-o-o-

_Well, now, that was interesting. How about for you? I thought about it a long time. Would Jayne and River ever really make sense – and the truth is, I'm completely sure of it because Jayne is simplistic. River makes sense to him because he doesn't try to overanalyze it. And River, young as she is, would definitely be sexually active at the age of sixteen or so. They mesh – not that I would call it "true love" or anything. Though I couldn't help noticing them in the movie. She spazzes, he's the first to ask what was wrong. She goes on a killing spree. He holds her from behind and says "It's me, girl."… well, anyway, what do you think? Come argue with me, state your opinion. I'm curious._


	2. Sunshine

Chapter Two

Inara's coppery bright grin appeared on the screen. Always the smile. Polite as fuck. Malcolm Reynolds couldn't wait to erase that fake expression from her pretty face. It was something of a specialty of his, really, but he was none to fond of restraint politeness. "And how is the crew?" she questioned as she always did. "Anything new?"

Mal's grin made her almost regretting asking. Her stoic posture lost face. He was clearly enjoying this far too much. "Mal..."She began, dropping her voice to a lower register, "is there something in my hair?

He shook his head. "You leave - months later, half the crew goes bloody mad."

"Why are you laughing? What's going on? Is that supposed to be funny?"

He held up his hand, finished chuckling, then wiped the smirk away and leaned forward.

"So it's the middle of the night and Jayne's yelling, really making a racket, and we all think there's reavers about to catch up on our ass. I climb up my ladder and see Wash is running half naked to the ship's panel and Kaylee going for the engine room - safety protocols and all. And then Jayne's got Simon by the collar and dragging him across the platform and he looks so gorram scary, I'll admit, I couldn't move. And then I hear Jayne going "Your sister's gone mad" and Simon stops right there, folds his arms up - you know the look - and he goes "Do you think that's funny?"

"And here's the best part - no, not the best, but... well, anyways, Jayne grabs Simon's skinny ass and _throws_ him down into his room. Zoë gives me one of those looks - yeah, well, something you're giving me right now - and so I jump down into Jayne's room myself - it was very manly, by the way - and River's all tangled up on Jayne's bed and gasping for air."

Mal pauses.

"Simon's checks her pulse and, well, all that doctor stuff he does, and she's fine, I guess, because she calms down, but then Jayne asks if she's okay and Simon whirls around and almost jabs Jayne in the eye with his finger - and he's really livid, too - and he asks Jayne in this strangely calm voice why his sister is in his bed."

Inara's eyebrows shot up.

"Oh yeah, it definitely gets good" Mal said, aware he had her full attention. "So Jayne notices I'm there and wants me to intervene or whatever. And so I ask Simon if the little one's all right and he says something about a panic attack and Jayne demands to know what the hell that is and Simon says in this super spooky voice - he's probably used it toward me more than twice if you remember- 'What I want to know is what triggered it.' And Jayne hollers that he has no idea what a panic attack is, so how would he know? And then Simon asks again what the hell she's doing in his bed.

"And then _I_ go... 'Now, that's a very good question, Jayne'. And Jayne raises his hands and backs up a little and says something like 'Well, I didn't put her there' and Simon repeats the question, and he's about to rip his balls off or something - you can really tell. And then Jayne says real quiet that she's been crawling into his bed pretty much every night for a month."

"He didn't... Mal, _did he_?"

"I'll get to that. So, then Simon looks like he's about to explode and Jayne can't back up any further, so then Jayne says 'Do you really think I'd put her there - or that she'd willingly go?' and Simon reminds him about the whole mental-instability-being-plum-crazy thing and Jayne starts defending her about how she's not crazy, she was just used to - and I quote - being oppressed in a river for so long, that it's hard to get used to the ocean..." Well, Simon looks dumbfound. Jayne looks over Simon's shoulder and River's starting to stand up - and she's completely naked, too. And then Jayne tells her that he's about to be killed any moment now. Guess what she does."

Inara stutters for a moment, and then clears her throat. "Just tell me."

"She giggles. And then she hugs against Simon's back and closes her eyes. And when Simon tries to speak, Jayne stops him. The whole thing is kind of freaky. And five minutes go by before Simon finally asks why he stopped him and Jayne gives him this amused kind of expression and says that she was listening to the ocean. I think I pinched my arm then to see if I was dreaming - it was seriously, just... weird.

"And that's when Wash calls down and asks if it's safe to go back to bed. And River drifts from Simon to Jayne and wraps her skinny arms around him and complains that she's tired. And he tells her to stop leaning on him and go sleep already, but she slumps against him and he finally just picks her up and takes her back to where she was before. Simon covers his mouth and tells us that he's going to be sick. I've never seen him move so fast.

"So that just leaves me to witness the whole shebang and, I swear to God, River throws her arms around Jayne and bring his nose all the way down to touch hers. She whispers something, he grins. That's when I finally intervene."

Mal sighed heavily.

"Then what?"

"I told Jayne to sleep somewhere else, because Simon was going to eventually come back - and I was pretty damn tired. He kind of nods and untangles her arms, then follows me to the table - I mean, he's obedient sometimes. Don't look so shocked - and I ask him for his side of the story."

"Just a moment," Inara says, cutting the screen off for a moment.

"Another client?" Mal asked when she returns.

She holds up a tall drink and then tips it into her mouth. "Go on."

"So Jayne says that River just crawled into his bed one day, took off her dress, and they went at it like animals." Inara drained her drink. "To his defense, he hasn't been with a woman in a mighty long time and she's certainly old enough to be... er... curious."

Inara rolled her eyes and poured out another full drink.

"And you should be well aware of the weakness of man!"

"Why Jayne though?"

Mal shrugged.

"It certainly can't be the bad-boy charm - he's just disgusting, really. And, I guess I can see that she wouldn't harbor a crush on a married man either, or a biological brother... but... Mal, you're not making this up are you?"

"You think I could come up with that? And, what about me?"

"What about you?"

"I assume by biological brother and married man, you refer to Simon and Wash - why wouldn't she want me?"

"Too old."

Mal's jaw dropped.

"Jayne has to be right near my age."

A smile ghosted her lips.

"I am _goddamn pretty_."

"I didn't say you weren't."

Mal's eyebrow lifted.

"I'm saying it's more likely that she views you as a type of father figure," Inara let out a sigh. "I want to talk with Kaylee."

* * *

Mal relinquished his quarters for the girls to do their own gossiping. Kaylee liked the privilege of sitting in the captain's makeshift chair and getting Inara's - a companion's! - attention. Kaylee had once even toyed with the idea of becoming registered herself; the whole concept had long captivated her since she saw a companion at the arm of the powerful governor, and how she carried herself to be his equal. Such elegance, poise and beauty! However, it was with the machines that she found her own calling. It was hardly glamorous, but it was gift she couldn't deny. Mechanics simply came naturally to her.

Inara popped on the screen not a minute after. "Kaylee, I've just talked to Mal. What's going on around there?"

"No hello, good afternoon, how are you?" Kaylee pouted.

Inara grinned. "You know you've been dying to talk to someone about this whole mess."

"Oh, have I ever, but I'll forgive you just this once. Now, how much did Mal tell you?"

"Up to the point that he talked with Jayne about the whole thing."

"Well, what did he say!"

"Not much. Jayne's blaming River and Mal thinks she's just curious, but this whole thing just seems so _ridiculous._"

Kaylee snorted. "Well, I'll say. And you wouldn't think River would have any interest in him if she was going around slicing his chest open, you know?"

"Exactly."

"But it's the weirdest thing, Inara. Now that it's out in the open, she's been hanging around him all day and he lets her do that most of the time, but they hardly pay any attention to the other."

"Really..."

"Well, Jayne acts kind of nervous, especially with Simon breathing down his neck and all, but when Simon shows up, River usually leaves. Otherwise they're two peas-in-a-pod. Didn't you mention that the Captain had a stash around here?"

"He told me once he kept some alcohol in the bottom drawer of that dresser behind you," Inara replied, and then waited for Kaylee to retrieve the goods and settle back in her chair. "If's Mal's assumption's right that she's curious about sex, then it may also be possible she would pick someone that lacked the morals to say no to a minor."

"Well, if I just wanted to do it to do it then I'd want someone a little more hygienic," Kaylee said, making a face. "Or perhaps a girl, but then that would've left myself, I'm supposin' and I certainly couldn't have..."she trailed off.

"It could also be that she wasn't looking for a relationship and Jayne's the last person I'd go for if I wanted anything like that." Inara didn't bother switching screens in order to refill her glass.

"I thought the Captain was the last person you'd go for," Kaylee teased.

"Certainly not a choice picking on deck. I can't say I'd go for _anyone_ on deck."

"Not even Simon?"

"Speaking of, how are the two of you getting along?"

Kaylee's checks flushed. "You know he hardly notices me."

"Nonsense, Mei-Mei. You know I've caught him staring at you on occasion."

Kaylee denied the statement by rapidly shaking her head left to right and back again. The movement seemed to sober her for as she grew still for a second, then quietly said. "Inara, we need you back on Serenity. Please come back. We miss you."

"I've thought about coming back."

"Promise to think about it some more?'"

"Of course, mei-mei. Promise you won't be so shy around the doctor?"

They touched their pinkys to the screen solemnly, giggled and then spoke about carburetors and caviar, with neither entirely sure what the other was talking about, but enjoying the conversation all the same.

* * *

"If river is the ocean..."

"Jayne is the... moon?"

"Jayne is the oxygen."

"He makes it... easier to breathe?"

"He fills her. He's completely independent of the ocean, but, all the time, a part of it."

"Then what am I, mei-mei?"

"...Plankton."

o1. This is set sometime between the series and the movie. I'm not entirely sure on the exact time-line, but I do know that the comic book series has a steamy scene between Simon and Inara. With that in mind, the last part of the conversation between Inara and Kaylee has something of an Easter egg in it, but it can be probably be interpreted in many different ways.

o2. The last conversation is between River and Simon, in case that wasn't entirely clear. It's also an attempt on Simon's part to understand his sister's line of thinking. Hopefully he caught on that the plankton plays a huge part in sustaining ocean life ;)


End file.
